How to Deal With a Controlling Parent
When you ask a person what he or she envisions to be in life, a lot of them would answer that they want to be free and independent. We want to show others that we are mature individuals capable of doing things, surviving by ourselves and making big decisions in our life.
This can be really hard to do, especially for teens and young adults, if they have a controlling parent. A lot of parent-children arguments and fights stem from parents who are too involved in their children’s lives that the children would feel suffocated, restrained and too dependent.
Here are some applicable tips in dealing with a controlling parent.
Observe and tell
Usually, controlling behavior from parents can start from the smallest things- what to have for dinner, what you wear and how you act in front of other people. Ask yourself why they are acting this way and recall instances in the past where they have been too controlling and stifling.
If you spent enough time thinking about it, you can now talk about this with them. There are a lot of cases where parents tend to be too controlling and they don’t even notice this themselves. Make them aware of their behavior and how this is affecting or hurting you. Bringing awareness to their behavior os the first step to them being less controlling.
Assurance
One way to assure parents that their children are mature and independent individuals capable of making their own decisions and facing the consequences of their actions is by showing them. Follow their rules. If the agreement is to be home before midnight, be sure to follow so that they can see that you are responsible and trustworthy.
Rapid Rank Promotion
You may be surprised that after your wedding and your honeymoon, you are promoted one rank higher than your position during your single life. Yes, it is true. Most employers tend to give you a little bonus when you enter the married life because they know what a couple is feeling. These employers are kindhearted and thus you have to give what is for them.
Moreover, you have the chance to be promoted because you will work hard; you will double your effort at work and when your employer see this, he will assess your current status and your performance as an employee and when he see that you are a great asset and a potential person for promotion. He’ll grant it to you.
The fact is, most company owners level up an individual’s work status because of his performance at work. However, if you still show your current work performance it will count years before you salary will increase and your position to rank higher. There are actually so many individuals who doesn’t care or perhaps they don’t want an increased salary because their salary is enough and can sustain the daily needs of the family.
Generally, a married individual know that he has a family to feed, to dress and to love; a person that sends his child to school, o support his parents and siblings. There’s no one other person who can do that except parents. Therefore, whatever happens work should be in place.
Natural Confidence: A Product of Marriage
There are a lot of ways to gain confidence. It can be through your talent or through your achievements. But not many people know that marriage also gives confidence through proper communication and stable relationship. In a home where you experience good communication and unity, there is a clear fact that you will achieve a serene environment.
Communication and Confidence
However, if there’s no unity and proper communication inside the house, then both husband and wife may not feel confident. In fact, this may even cause low self-esteem in both of them. Therefore, all couples are encouraged to have a good communication in order to have a good and long lasting marriage.
Do Your Best to Love One Another
Since you and your partner both decided that you would marry each other, there is no excuse whether you commit mistakes or not because, in the first place, you promised each other to not hurt each other’s feeling. Actually, when a fight starts at the house, both of your self-confidence would be taken out and eventually, your house will become a fight house that you have never been expecting in your dreams.
Work to Reach a Mutual Understanding
The key to avoid fights and misunderstanding from happening is to understand each and voice out if you feel anything is wrong. You don’t have to be the one they say sorry at all times. Give yourself dignity, give yourself a chance to show the world that you need to do it because you love your partner as well as you family and you don’t want marriage to be broken.
Listening to Advice
You will always know whenever you are sleeping so tight or not. When you are really asleep, you can never be woken up even by a roaring thunderstorm or a loud music. However, you can get up, when you are shaken up. Sometimes, it is very annoying and is pissing you off but it is the shake that is really an important call for you. When it talks about heartbreak, it can be compared to sleeping.
When you are not listening to advice, tendencies are you may be hurt badly. It’s like a parent-daughter relationship. You are being scolded by your mother not because you are so bad but it is because they want you to learn the lessons that they want you to know. Sometimes, you just need to make several mistakes in order for you to get the lesson out of it. But sometimes, one mistake is enough for you to learn the things that you want to learn.
See those woman who experienced a really bad heartbreak. What happens to them? Did they let themselves drown from that heartache? Maybe there are some but it doesn’t mean that they are losers. It’s just their way to let their heartbreak out. The real losers are the ones who commits suicide. They think that the only way to make escape the painful feelings they feel is to die. In reality, heartbreak is only the same with the reminding yourself that you are not a worthless individual.
Learning to Move On
It is really hard to move on to your past most especially if you really love the person who left you or you’ve left. However, no matter how hurtful or how painful the break up is, the only best thing to do is to turn things away from that past. Yes, it is hard but it is just for the meantime. It would just take like months.
Five months is a long period. Now, if you really want to forget your past, you have to submit and commit to the challenges around you. Actually, the very first thing you need to master is the never think of anything that remind you of him. Throw all the things that he owns, the things he gave, the teddy bear, the flowers, the love letters and anything that is valuable for both of you.
You should include the photos in your computer, cellphones and if possible the pictures that you have posted on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and any social media websites wherein you’ve showed your pictures to people. Actually, you can keep his phone number to your cellphone because even if you delete it, you still remember it. In a situation that you just broke up with your boyfriend, you have to be strong to not text him.
After few hours of your break-up, he’ll beep you. This means, he wants to reconcile to you and admit his mistakes. However, they will just text you to inform that they want to say goodbye. This time, don’t get hurt. Do not cry. Be strong and keep your chin up. Learn to believe that it’s his loss not yours.
